Sometimes God has no intention of changing something, but every intention of using something.
I am closing in on the last days of my “90 Days of Healing” for my heart and soul – an intimate journey with God into the recesses of my mind and soul to see what it is He would like to heal or work on or transform.
In the beginning, I felt like the “chronically bleeding” woman who was desperately reaching for just the hem of Jesus’ tunic, to feel his power, to be healed from the inside out. (Luke 8:40-48)
And while there are parts of that “bleeding” that have been addressed, I discovered that I was actually the “blind man” who was about to receive His sight after being touched by Jesus through the mud applied. (John 9:1-7)
I wanted instant healing, like the bleeding woman. I knew that Jesus had the power to do it and I had the faith to reach out and touch His garment, knowing that just His simplest gesture could bring me relief.
But it turns out that Jesus saw my need for what it was. It was my vision that was skewed. And for some reason He chose to use “mud” to help me see 20/20.
Isn’t that interesting? Spit and dirt. Not likely things to use, especially on the eyes. Everything about that combination doesn’t make sense. Dirt can cause infection, would more likely make a person’s vision more cloudy not more clear and doesn’t have any redeemable qualities in and of itself to promote healing. Dirt in the eye hurts.
But Jesus added a part of Himself to that dirt. His holy spit mixed with that dirt to make something miraculous happen. Then He used His holy hands to apply it to that man’s brokenness.
And what was in that man’s first amazing line of vision? The face of Jesus! His healer was the first thing He saw. To me, that is the most beautiful part of this story.
In these 90 days, Jesus has healed and transformed me. But not in the ways I was expecting. The parts of me that I was desperate for Him to heal, the situations and circumstances that I was pleading for Him to change were only the dirt that He wanted to use to work with to correct my spiritual vision.
Don’t get me wrong, there definitely have been things in and around me that have changed because they needed to. But the greatest miracle of all was the change of perspective that has occurred because of things that He has NOT changed in me or in my situations.
I wanted Him to change parts of me. But He wanted to change ALL of me by healing my eyes with some dirt and a little holy saliva.
I understand so much better now what Paul meant when He said, “Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
