A few more days of limbo before we have an answer about the job in San Francisco.
I always envisioned a waiting period like this as being stuck in a whirl pool:
Definition –
- A rapidly rotating mass of water in a river or sea into which objects may be drawn, typically caused by the meeting of conflicting currents.
- A turbulent situation from which it is hard to escape.
Fighting the frustrating waters that weren’t taking me anywhere. Stuck. Fear creeping in as the waters surround and swirl and keep me in the same place with no way to move forward and swim out of their grasp. A feeling of powerlessness where anxiety lurks with every push and pull of the spinning current.
But I know a few things. I know that God is good. I know that He operates on purpose and in love. I know He has our best interest at heart.
So what if this time of waiting is actually more like a therapy pool? What if it’s purpose is to strengthen me, to build my “stamina”? It still resembles the whirlpool in that I’m not going anywhere. But in that place of not-going-anywhere I am getting stronger. I am trusting my Instructor with these exercises of patience in this pool. He is readying me for what is to come after the therapy session is over.
I like that picture much more than the whirlpool alternative.
It made me think of when Jesus and His disciples were out on a boat. A storm came up and it must have been a doozy because these men, some of whom were fishermen by trade, were afraid. Water was overtaking the boat. They were powerless. They couldn’t get the boat out of the situation. They were stuck in a scary situation. Jesus was sleeping. Resting, knowing that the storm had purpose, that they would all be okay. They came and frantically woke Him up, saying, “Don’t you care if we all drown?” Jesus got up at just the right time and commanded the storm to stop. He could have stopped it in the beginning or kept it from happening at all. But He knew that learning was going to happen for these boys through the storm.
Even after the storm stopped, they were still in same boat, still in the water. But now they realized Who was truly with them. God Himself. More storms would come eventually, but now their faith was stronger. They knew Who had their backs. They knew the One that was stronger than the storm. The next storm would only display their newfound faith and strength.
Storms will come and go. Lessons learned in therapy pools will wax and wane. But the God who is God of the “sea and the storm” remains faithful, loving and present in the calm and in the not-so-calm times. He is still working and working with purpose.
And I feel muscles I never knew I had…:-)
Mark 4:35-41 –
That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”
