And then it hits you…

Certain events can trigger things inside that surprise you – new insights and epiphanies, new perspective and appreciation.

Somehow the reality of this day (the last of my 40’s birthdays) makes me look back on this past nearly half century of my life with a new sense of wonder and gratefulness for the people who have touched and passed through and stayed in my life.

There is no way that a person can stay in touch closely with the hundreds of people that they’ve listed as friends on Facebook.  Are all those people REALLY their friends?  Most would say, no.  But I beg to differ.

If someone has touched my life at some point, no matter how brief, they are my friend.  I may not spend hours talking to them.  I may not ever see or talk to them again.  But they have left a mark on my life.  In some small way they have brushed up against my life and colored it, or changed it or challenged it in some small way.

Not every moment in time with every person has been pleasant.  There have been uncomfortable or even painful encounters or circumstances.  Still, those people had a purpose in my life to better me.  To make me a little more like Jesus.  Those people are not truly enemies if they have strengthened me.  Even these people are in some way my friends.

If I remember a name or a face, if a song or a smell engages a memory of a person, I have been impacted.

As I look at my Facebook friends I see the names and faces of friends whom I haven’t seen in years.  But some of those people have known me since kindergarten or even before.  They helped form my personality.  Some of them hurt me and taught me about the “real world” through teasing and childhood drama.   Some were the first to show me what true friendship looked like. These were the friends of firsts.  First lost teeth.  Learning to read.   They were my first boyfriends and best friends.  They were the ones who did life with me when life looked magical every day.  When each morning was a chance to learn something new.  They escorted me from childhood into becoming a young adult.  These are my friends.

Then there are the college friends.  The late nights up giggling and studying, in that order.  The ones who were with me in my first experience of living away from home.  That experienced my engagement with me and stayed up all night with me staring at my ring.  Living on popcorn.  Saving laundry money to go get ice cream.  Studying cadavers. Gaining the freshman 15.  It was these friends and those from my childhood who were in my wedding.  These are my friends.

Being newly married and living in a brand new city, more friendship incurred.  Young couples who were just starting out.  We had baby showers and our babies together.  We went camping and dancing together.  We figured out what being a mom looked like and gave each other insight from our day to day experiences.  We laughed and cried with the joys and challenges of sleepless nights and cutting teeth and first steps. These were the people who took me from young adulthood to young motherhood.  These are my friends.

Mark’s job took us to three more new towns.  Four more babies were born.  One baby died.  The friends in these towns rejoiced with us with each new addition to our family and mourned with us when we experienced the greatest loss a parent can ever feel.  They helped us make a vibrant history for our kids rich with fun memories.  Vacations, dinners, sleepovers when the power went out.  My kids’ best friends and first tastes of puppy love.  These were the friends who shared experiencing the teenage years with me for the first time.  These were the ones who wished me bon voyage as we headed to live out of state for the first time in our family’s life.  These are my friends.

Moving to Arizona.  My desert experience in so many ways.  Many painful experiences within the seven years that we lived there.  Yet God brought people once again into my life that would teach me things, both good and difficult, that would continue to shape and change and grow me.  Through that time, God hand-delivered friends who embraced my wacky heart.  Friends that shared their young children with me since mine were getting older and more independent and heading out to college.  Friends that helped begin and foster my love for all things old and would scour thrift stores with me to find “treasures”.  Friends that would understand my love for Jesus and have deep conversations with me about that love.  These were my friends.

Two and a half years ago, God moved us out of state once again.  Colorado was the salve for my parched desert soul – a place of deep healing.  And again, God brought new people into my life.  Opportunities of growth and stretching outside my comfort zone.  These friends have come alongside me and experienced what it’s like to have your youngest to graduate and head off to college. They’ve cheered me on in my new endeavors of writing and creativity.  Together we’ve entered into the next phase of our lives with a semi-empty nest and a depletion of hormones.  The new world of menopause and mid-life.  A world that can be scary and unfamiliar.  A time when our roles are changing from full-time mom back to an independence that looks so different than it did thirty years ago.  We have changed and we are figuring out all over again who we are.  These women are being brave enough to be honest with me about their feelings and their struggles.  They dream with me of what the next half century of our lives might look like.  These are my friends.

Most of these friends from all of these times and places in my life do not know each other.  Some intermingle through all of these phases of my life.  The majority do not know the role they have played in my life and how thankful I am that they are/were a part of it.  But all have shared at least one step in my journey.  And there have been others along the way, too, that don’t fit any any of the regular timelines of my life.  Those I’ve met on planes or in Starbucks.  Those that I’ve met online or at book signings. The people I’ve worked and work with and for. Each creating another stepping stone for my path. These are my friends.

I hope that in some way I have returned the favor to some of these precious friends and have been an encouragement in lives and on their journey.  My greatest wish would be to bring strength to those I’ve locked arms with and a smile to those I meet each day.  I want to bring life to others with every breath I take.  I want others to be able to say of me, “She is my friend”.

Friends from today and yesterday and all the days in between, today I think of and am thankful beyond words for you…

Philippians 1:3 – I thank my God every time I remember you.