I had nightmares last night that seemed to last the entire night.  Not the someone’s-trying-to-kill-me type nightmares.   No they were much scarier than that.  They were hormone-induced dreams where I was an emotional train wreck with every event and conversation that happened.  I was crying and pleading and sobbing endlessly.  People were either ignoring me or patting me on the head and rolling their eyes and with their free hand motioning the “she’s crazy” circle by their ears.  Not one person was taking me seriously or understanding that every reason for my overdramatic tears WAS rational.  Or so I thought in the dream.

I was REALLY happy to wake up this morning and find that I hadn’t actually lost that many friends with my out of control emotional outbursts.

I know where the dreams came from.  For the past week I have been taking the hormone Progesterone to basically Roto-Rooter a too-thick lining in my uterus that could be a potential breeding ground for cancer.  And let’s just say, hormones play a number on not just your body, but your mind as well.  I have not felt like myself for the past five days.  Tears flow at the drop of a hat.  Fear and anxiety lurk in the corners of my mind.  Self-doubt and loathing rear their ugly heads.

Once I realized that these symptoms were side effects from the drugs, I could rest in the fact that this was a temporary state and that, at least for today, I’m not losing my mind.  Knowledge of the facts didn’t change my situation, but it changed my perspective  on the situation and relieved my mind.

It made me think about life in general.  There will be ups and downs.  There will be really difficult things that we will face.  There will be days when we feel overwhelmed.  Days when we are frustrated by our world and what’s happening to it.

But Jesus gave us a forewarning about that.  He reminded us that we live in a broken world where broken things happen.  John 16:33 – “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  He gave us the facts – you will have trouble  – but also gave us another fact, a promise – I have overcome the world.  Why did He tell us that?  That we may have peace and take heart.  

Like my hormone induced tears, it doesn’t change our situation.  We are still in a broken world where ugly things happen.  But the knowledge that God is with us and will never leave us, that He loves us and has overcome the world reminds us of the hope we have in Him.  It brings our perspective back to the place of knowing that He still has a plan and that not even a badly marred world and its side effects can stop it.

Tears and confidence CAN walk hand-in-hand when we know that we are in His grip…

Hebrews 13:5 – “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” 

Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.