Sometimes there is a fine line between laughing and crying. Sometimes there is also a fine line between life and death.
I’m not sure today’s post will flow well or even make sense. All its components are rattling around in my head, bumping into each other, but not really sure how to come together. Still, I am going to try…
Impending birth. There is an excitement that can’t be described, especially for the mother. There is no other anticipation that matches it. A new life is forming and is getting ready to make its way into the world. No matter how long or difficult the pregnancy may be, there is the hope of inexplicable joy awaiting.
Except when there isn’t. This weekend I met a young woman at church who was told that she would never be able to have children. Miraculously, she conceived twins. Thrilled beyond measure, she carried those precious babies for 20 weeks. And then the unthinkable happened. She miscarried and was left devastated. Months later, she once again beat the odds and conceived again. Twins again! But as we prayed for her and her husband this weekend, she was in the middle of yet another dream shattering miscarriage. In the span of less than 365 days, she has lost four children. The pain that she and her husband are experiencing is inconceivable.
As I held this sweet young woman, her entire body heaving with sobs, I was overcome with the reality of a mother’s love. I believe it begins even before conception, when a woman dreams of one day having children. It is all-consuming when a woman cannot conceive. She will do whatever it takes to become a mother. And when she first sees that heartbeat on the ultrasound screen and hears its beautiful quick rhythm, when she feels that first flutter of life inside of her and sees her body beginning to change with the miracle of pregnancy, she is never again the same. She is a mother through and through with a new dimension of her heart that she never knew existed.
This precious woman is a mama. Though her arms are empty, her heart is full with a love for four children that she will forever dream of meeting one day in heaven.
But I had another conversation this weekend. It was with Abby, my daughter. She has a co-worker that she has been praying for for two years. She has shared her faith with the woman and longs to see her come to know and love Jesus. She has been a great and compassionate friend to this precious woman. And like a young woman wanting to be a mother, Abby hopes to see this friend join her spiritual family.
Recently this woman has experienced seeing a loved one suffer. She told Abby that it has caused her to consider faith. As Abby shared this with me, her face was almost glowing! It’s as if she is anticipating the new life and “birth” of this woman’s heart and soul. A spiritual pregnancy of sorts. The first signs of life are beginning to appear and it makes Abby’s heart sing.
If this woman actually comes to a place of desiring a relationship with Jesus, we don’t yet know. The “pregnancy” may be long and difficult. We don’t know the outcome. But I do know that Abby will do her best to nurture it and care for this new glimmer of life that seems to be forming.
As I said before, there is fine line between life and death. It can go from one to the other in a split second. Which is why every second counts, in both the physical and spiritual realms. We need to savor every ounce of life in both. “Make the most of every opportunity.” There are no guarantees, but there are endless possibilities. We have the opportunity to share and offer life to others. They may or may not choose to take it. But that’s a risk that I have no choice but to take…
