my happy place

This is my writing chair when I write from home.  It’s ugly as heck.  I found it at a garage sale years ago for five bucks.  It’s worn in and cracked.  Just like I like things.  It has “personality”.  and when I turn on my piano music and put it in the semi-reclined position my chair is the perfect place to let Jesus speak to me, let thoughts flow and let the words form on the page.  This is my happy place….

But, alas, my happy place has been sorely neglected this week.  Obligations, duties, errands, the “urgent and necessary” things of life have taken over.  Some of it has been beyond my control.  But much of it has been my own doing.  Putting a little too much on the plate – the “eyes bigger than the stomach” scenario.  Just one more thing won’t hurt.  Until my plate is mounded with “just one more thing” and try as I might to “eat” it all, there is no way that one person could finish all that is on that plate.  And though I want to push away from the table of “need to” or “should do’s” I find myself trying to gorge myself with every last bite or feeling frustrated and defeated if I can’t.

I have done a lot this week.  But there is still so much that I haven’t accomplished that is nagging at me – cleaning my fridge, washing my car, paying bills, making more cookies for the neighbors, painting the bathroom….the list goes on and on.  And it seems that even if I ever get to that last “bite”, the plate will immediately become full again and the whole routine will repeat itself.

One of my greatest frustrations in this is when I haven’t been able to accomplish not only the practical things of life, but the creative endeavors as well.  Writing has taken a hit this week, decorating has been at a minimum, song development has been put on hold.  And it’s as if a part of my soul has been starving while my busy body has been stuffing it’s face with everything urgent and necessary.  And the growling in the belly of my soul has gotten to a point to no longer be ignored.

And what was my quiet time passage today?  “You tend to make mental checklists of things you need to do in order to gain control of your life.  If only you could check everything off your list, you could relax and be at peace.  But the more you work to accomplish that goal, the more things crop up on your list.  The harder you try, the more frustrated you become…”  Ya think?

So what is my alternative for that frustrating sense of “have to do’s”?

2 Corinthians 4:18 – So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

I need to again lean into Jesus.  To sit at His feet, at His “table”, and feast on the the things that will last forever, that have eternal meaning and importance and impact.  The things that will not leave me feeling bloated and frustrated from a stuffed belly of obligation, but a satisfied fullness of contentment in experiencing what only He can give.  Time with Him and reading His words.

And what will He provide in those times of quiet reflection?

Isaiah 26:3 – With perfect peace you will protect those whose minds cannot be changed, because they trust you.

So now, as I sit on my ugly, well-worn chair, I will remember the real reasons that I am on this planet.  Not for duty or obligation or necessary busyness.  But to love God and to love people.  And now my soul’s belly can stop growling and rest in utter contentment.  Even with a fridge that still holds the makings of a new penicillin….