Oops! I did it again.
You’d think that I’d have learned.
But no, I really went back
Though more than once been burned.
I really tried avoiding it
Couldn’t wait another day
To pick up my contact lenses
There was just no other way.
I drove into the the parking lot
My heart began to race
Old memories came flooding back
Could I this challenge face?
The big blue sign loomed overhead
As if to taunt my fear
Did I really have to do it?
What am I doing here?
But burning eyes spurred me on
My prescription long past due
And so I parked and headed in
As doom and dread ensued.
All I needed were a few things
For dinner and my eyes
How long could it take? How hard could it be?
Surely easy buys.
First stop was the eye care
Where my contacts were on hold
And as I approached the counter
My warm blood soon turned cold.
Two employees working there
Were busy now with others
Not ideal, but I would wait
Though clearly not my druthers.
Neither worker looked at me
Or said, “I’ll be right with you.”
And so I lingered “patiently”
Sensing strongly deja vu.
The lady right in front of me
Must have been one hundred and two
Her hearing gone, her eyesight shot
My nightmare coming true
When asked what was her number
She didn’t have a clue
But I refrained from rolling eyes
Not sure just what to do.
Could they see me standing here?
Did anybody care?
Ten minutes turned to fifteen
This really wasn’t fair
All I needed was my contacts
And I’d already paid
Should I interrupt and ask for them
And then be on my way?
The little boy behind me
Was screaming in his cart
His mom just sat and stared at him
In the middle of Walmart.
Grandma was still ordering
And struggling to hear
Every question asked of her
Was answered, “Excuse me, dear?”
At this point I’ve decided
This isn’t going well
So I will come back later
And hope I’ll live to tell.
So off to get my groceries
Won’t bore you with details
Things were going pretty smoothly
‘Til my kung fu grip did fail.
I tried to get my produce
But three times dropped my vegies
The same number of times I saw
People picking wedgies.
Once I dropped an onion
It rolled across the floor
But didn’t stay intact, oh no,
Just wait now, there is more.
With each roll that onion
Decided to undress
It’s skin peeled off, it’s inside bare
But listen, I digress…
The closer that I got to it
The further that it rolled
I chased it, grabbed it, picked it up
And replaced it, slightly soiled.
I continued shopping
Then headed up to pay
Was dreading the infamous Walmart lines
Way more than I can say.
I made it through, fairly unscathed
But chuckled in my head
When the checkout lady asked me
If cornbread tastes “like cornbread?”
Now the groceries paid for
One task yet remained
To finally get my contacts
The ones for which I’d payed.
I walked back to the counter
And there was no one there
Just an empty cluttered desk
With a very empty chair.
The workers I hear talking
In a little room next door
I see them and they see me
Yet they do nothing more.
My boiling point is coming
I can feel it in my bones
I try to keep from screaming
But let out a tiny groan.
Finally comes the lady
Irritated I was there
She didn’t say “how are you?”
She really didn’t care.
“Name?” she asked. I told her.
“Jana Jarvis” loud and clear.
“Gina Travis?” she asked blandly.
I can’t believe my ears.
“Jana Jarvis”, I repeat
And spell it out for her
I think she cussed under her breath
But I’m not really sure.
I walked away with contacts
And happy I will be
For I am leaving Walmart
And I can finally see!
