Hey, precious boy!  It’s mom.  Happy Birthday!  You would be fourteen today.  That is crazy!  I can’t believe how fast the time has gone.  Sometimes it seems like just days ago when I first saw and fell in love with your sweet face.  I know I’ve told you this story a thousand times, but you are a Jarvis kid, and every Jarvis kid has to hear their birth story on their birthday 🙂

You were a surprise.  An amazing gift from Jesus.  You weren’t part of our plans, but you were so a part of Jesus’ plan for us.  I remember thinking “this will be my last pregnancy ever.  So I need to fully enjoy every part of it and not wish it away.”  And that’s what I did.  I loved every day of those nine months of you snuggled up inside me.  And I loved you fiercely from the moment I first knew you existed.  I absolutely treasured every second that we shared the same body.

A few months into the pregnancy I got a message from Jesus.  He was saying, “This child will be a blessing, but you will not have him for long.”  It was that clear, but I had no idea what that meant.  Did it mean that I would miscarry?  That you would be a stillbirth?  The message persisted, but somehow it was not accompanied by fear. God preparing my heart. The first of many miracles of you.

I remember when we had the ultrasound that told us you were a boy.  That’s when you got your name – Mitchell.  And, as you know, it means “Who is like God?”  Little did we know how much your life would reflect that incredible meaning. God gave you a perfect name.  Second miracle.

As the ultrasound went on, I was very concerned about all the parts the doctor was looking at.  I specifically remember him showing us pictures of your heart and showing us how “perfect” it was with its four chambers pumping away.  Little did we know what was really going on in that little heart.  But God brought to mind the verses from Psalm 139 as I drove home from the doctor’s office – “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know full well.”  Encouragement from heaven.  Miracle three.

The message was still whispering in my ear.  So I just loved you and loved you and loved you.  I would rub my belly and talk to you all the time.  And you would kick back as if to say you loved me, too.  I promised that I would do everything I could to keep you safe so I could meet you.  Your hiccups told me you believed me.  Your love touches – miracle four.

August 12, 1996.  Miracle five.  Your little tiny “perfect” screaming self came into the world.  You had made it!  You had stayed safe inside me!  I got to see my boy!  You were absolutely beautiful with your dark hair, round little face and crooked little pinkies (just like me and your brother!) I looked at you in awe – thrilled beyond measure but so confused.  Was the voice in my heart wrong?  Oh please let it be so…please!

We brought you home and you were adored and thoroughly handled by all of us.  It was a rare moment when you weren’t being held.  Still, I could not shake the deep gut feeling that I had that everything was NOT okay.  Somehow I knew that inside that perfect little body was something that was not so perfect.  God was getting me ready for the days ahead.  Miracle  six.

You already know all the details that come next.  I won’t include them here, as I have written about them at other times.  But I will remind us both of the miracles that happened as we waited at Children’s Hospital for four days.  Miracles, miracles, miracles.  Of  the love and support of others for us at our deepest time of need.  Of the other parents of sick babies whom God put in the waiting room that we were able to encourage and love and pray with.  Of the amazing doctors and nurses who worked on you and cared for you and cared for us, too, and brought you successfully through two open heart surgeries.  Of the ability to sing and pray and laugh in the middle of our worst fears.  Miracles seven, eight and nine.

And now it was time for miracle ten.  You are lying, two days postop, in the icu.  Your chest so swollen that they haven’t been able to close you up yet.  But you are a trooper and and have been fighting hard and doing a really good job.  But it’s time.  I am standing there with you, praying, when all the machines you are connected to begin to beep and you are surrounded by doctors and nurses who are screaming “code blue!” and I am wisked away to another room, confused, and yet not surprised.

Friends and family are waiting in the room for me where they surround me with love and fervent, pleading prayers for you.  Praying for a miracle.  And the miracle came.  Miracle ten.  As they were praying, Jesus showed up right in front of me.  He told me it was time to take you home.  And here is the miracle.  I was able to say okay.  Mitchell, Jesus was asking if He could hold you now and I couldn’t help but say yes.  All I asked was that he rub your forehead the way that I did when you were falling asleep.  And He did, didn’t He?  I know that because I literally felt Him take you from my arms into His own.  I felt it, sweet boy of mine.  And I knew you were now okay.  You were perfect.  Miracle ten.  (Psalm 139: 16 – All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.)

Precious boy, those miracles didn’t stop at ten.  In the past fourteen years your 15 short days have resulted in so many changes in so many people’s lives.  You gave me the opportunity to share Jesus with people who were facing the same kind of hurt, whose babies were so sick.  Some would be okay, and some would join you and Jesus.

But I know one of the biggest miracles happened for your mama.  You took me on a new journey with Jesus as you began your journey with Him.  And for both of us it started the day that you first lived in me.  I love you Mitchell Collins Jarvis.  I am forever your mommy.  And I will never stop being thankful for that.  And I will never again be the same.

Have a wonderful birthday!  Save me a balloon.  And thanks for the special gift you gave me today.  I know you and Jesus were in on it together. 🙂  I love you.  Daddy says hi…