Heavy, aching heart today.
Overwhelmed.
Huge sense of inadequacy.
I am not enough for all the people in my life and what they need.
I am not enough for all the tasks that need to be accomplished.
The feeling of having very little to offer.
No real sense of definition for my sadness.
Maybe transition.
Maybe exhaustion.
Maybe fear.
Maybe sentimentality.
Could be hormonal.
Could be an overactive heart that feels too much.
All I know is I could really use your hugs today, Jesus.
I really hate it that I can’t see or hear or touch you today, in the literal sense. Cuz I really think that would help. Lots.
So here I wait for you, wiping my tears on my sleeve, knowing that it is at this place that You do touch me and hear me and reveal Yourself to me most profoundly. Where I realize how weak and little I am and how strong and huge You are. That when I have nothing left to give, You give through me. Live and love through me today, when I just can’t. Be my everything today, Jesus. Be my only thing…
Once when I was feeling this way, a wise person in my life told me, “Just show up. That is all you have to do. That is enough. Just show up.” I couldn’t believe it, but I tried it, and it is true. Sometimes we ask more of ourselves than others ask of us. Just show up.
Good words, Julie. Thank you! That’s exactly what I mean every time I use the phrase “just be available”. People just want to be listened to and loved. You’re right…we are the ones that make it more complicated than it really is. Thanks for the sweet reminder. Love you!