“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows].” – John 10:10
Why does Shame do what he does?
Why does he delight in sending us into hiding? Why does he push us toward making excuses and blaming others?
The answer is actually pretty simple. He has three goals:
- To damage our relationship with God.
- To damage our relationship with each other.
- To keep us from being effective and living fully.
It makes sense, doesn’t it, when we realize that he is an offspring of Satan, the Deceiver?
Dr. Curt Thompson puts Shame’s goals like this:
“(Shame) is the emotional weapon that evil uses to (1) corrupt our relationships with God and each other, and (2) disintegrate any and all gifts of vocational vision and creativity.”
Destruction is always Shame’s goal.
This is important to know.
Especially if our goals are wholeness in our relationships with God and others and the ability to impact our world.
If we know the motive behind the messages Shame plays over and over again in our heads, then we can view those messages as evil. As lies.
In the case of Shame related to sin, we know that there is Truth to combat those lies.
Shame’s Lie – You’ve done a bad thing, therefore YOU are bad. But don’t let anyone know. Hide, make excuses, blame others. Otherwise, you will be abandoned by God and others.
God’s Truth – You’ve done a bad thing, and are loved and forgivable and meant to live life whole and free! Your relationships with Me and others are meant to go deep and thrive!
Acts 3:19 – “Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.”
1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
Proverbs 28:13 – Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
James 5:16 – Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
Truth tells us that if we truly want to be well and whole in our souls, the very core of our being, if we want vital relationships with God and others, then we have to do exactly the opposite of what Shame tells us to do.
Instead of hiding in the dark, we need to come out into the light.
Instead of running from God, we need to turn towards Him.
Instead of making excuses, we need to confess.
Instead of blaming others, we need to take responsibility and renounce our own wrongdoing and then accept full forgiveness, as a gift.
Shame screams in agony at the exposure of light, confession and repentance. It is his undoing. And our saving grace.
God’s truth is our weapon. His forgiveness is our hope. His love is our strength as we wage war against this enemy of our souls.
I will tell you from very personal experience, defeating Shame in the area of sin is like taking in lungfuls of fresh air. It changes your relationships, your perspective, your focus and your entire well-being.
Bit we have more to learn about Shame.
He doesn’t just attack following sin.
He can find his own way in in places we’d never expect to find him.
But that’s for another day. 🙂
So, my fellow warriors, I will see you tomorrow!
xoxoxo
j
