I am sitting in a hospital room with Abby as I write this.  I received a call from one of her coworkers and a paramedic that they were putting her in an ambulance and taking her to the hospital.  She had a grand mal seizure while working at Starbucks this morning.  Milk went flying.  She went down.  People were screaming and hysterical.  Customers and coworkers.  They truly thought they were losing her.  If you have never witnessed a grand mal seizure, it can be a terrifying thing. And, of course, it had to happen in the middle of the morning rush…

Long story short, it was triggered by sleep deprivation.  Do I seem calm?  I am.  I have an unreal calm right now.  Maybe it’s because I have been in this place (hospitals) so many times for so many reasons with five kids.  Maybe it’s because I am drawn to hospitals in my unfulfilled dream to be a nurse.  But I think that the real reason is because I so sense my Jesus here with me.  So intimately sitting with me as I watch my girl sleep from exhaustion and seizure meds.  I sense Him humming a lullaby over each of our hearts and minds.  And I am humming along…

Today He let me see the impact of my girl on others.  Coworkers came in to see her.  They texted her.  They left messages for her.  A little three year old came in, Sophie, because she loves Abby and wanted to make sure she was alright.  To see them interact with each other was priceless.  I stopped by Starbucks while she was resting to thank everyone there for taking care of her and to let them know she was alright.  People swarmed to me to find out her status.  One of her coworkers came up to me and with tears in her eyes said, “Is Abby okay?”  I hugged her and told her yes and she just burst into tears.  “I was so afraid! I just wanted her to be okay!”  she said.  And people began to share the story of how it went down and how fearful they were.  And it was a little surreal to be the one comforting them, but God had walked me down this road before, and I was no longer afraid, so I could pass that on to them.  Customers who had been there when it happened came back to make sure that she was okay.  They were precious in their care and concern.  (I just got another message from another coworker who wasn’t there at the time but just found out…)  They are always telling me how much they love Abby when I come in, but today they showed it all over their faces, in their voices and in their actions.  And that made me smile….

They are discharging us with a prescription for Dilantin (anti-seizure med) and a referral to a neurologist who will take her case from here.  She will spend the rest of the day sleeping and hopefully be awake enough by tonight to be able to attend her brother’s Homecoming game and Royalty Court celebration.

Here is what I love.  I love that the crazy peace and calm that comes from God does not depend on our circumstances or events in our lives.  It’s way bigger than any aspect of life because it comes out of God’s love for us which is endless, limitless.  And what do I experience when I experience that peace….hmmmmmm….I experience Him.  His own presence.  And it feels to me like the warmest, coziest blanket you can imagine on a chilly day.  The day (the circumstance) is cold – the blanket doesn’t change that fact.  But the cold doesn’t affect me the same way because I am protected by the blanket.  But it goes past that.  Deeper than that.  There is a Hand that holds that blanket and that holds me in that blanket.  So not only am I warm, but I am safe.  The source of the warmth of the blanket is the love running through the veins of the Hand.  The Hand that holds gently, yet firmly.  That is soft, yet strong.  And this is when and where my heart that is anxious or fearful or sad can find that sweet peace.  Because I’m not afraid of the cold.  The cold will pass.  But the Hand and the blanket it offers will always be there…always…

And Abby and I are right smack dab in the middle of that hand….