I can hula hoop, but I can’t juggle.
I’m assuming it’s because a hula hoop requires only one focus and constant movement.
That I can do.
But juggling is for the coordinated and multi-focused who can stand still and keep more than one ball up in the air at a time.
And at that, well, I suck.
This morning that lacking showed up, unapologetically, as soon as I opened my eyes.
With extreme clarity, all I could see on the floor beside my bed were the “balls” that have scattered on the floor as I’ve allowed my new “hula hoop” schedule of frenetic movement and singular focus to take over.
Things forgotten.
Undone.
Done wrong.
Mistakes made.
Things forgotten.
Wait did I already say that?
See, I told you.
But it’s not so much the things that have gotten pushed aside or stepped over that I’m worried about.
It’s the people.
In the past few weeks, my time has been spent with strangers instead of friends. This goes with the territory of starting a new business and working in people’s homes.
After two conversations with two incredibly dear friends today, I realized that some of the balls on the floor were friends who were feeling my unintentional absence.
Somehow I’ve let it squeeze out that necessary time with the people I love most.
I hate that.
I’m sure Jesus is a little concerned as well.
But what I love about my Savior and Friend is that His gentle reminders that bring me to my knees are always served with kindness and encouragement to make a change.
If I’m listening (and finally I really am) I can hear His whisper early on in the process. Before too much damage has been done. Before I start crushing the balls that cover the floor.
He shows me what has fallen, where I have fallen, and helps me gather the mess I’ve left, humbly offer the apologies of neglect needed and move forward. Or maybe not move at all.
Maybe He’s just asking me for the thousandth time to “be still” for a little bit.
To consider.
To pray.
To self-examine and focus on Him and His expertise on balance.
Maybe He’s putting His hands on my “hula hoop” hips and asking me to just slow dance with Him for a bit.
The thought of eventually being able to hula hoop and juggle at the same time sounds impossible to me. Both literally and metaphorically.
But I’ve heard that God has taught new tricks much more miraculous to older dogs than me.
So for today, I’m going to take some time outs with Jesus smack dab in the middle of the crazy. Sitting, dancing slowly. And hopefully, learning from my mistakes in the art of juggling and doing it a little bit better from here on out.
