Today I find myself on the precipice of being a true empty nester.
I’ve had Blake here all summer with me, largely all to myself when he wasn’t at work, and the simple joys of hanging out, sweet conversations, walking downtown and discovering new things together has been something that I will treasure forever. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed every minute of seeing my “baby” as a grown man.
Tomorrow as he leaves to go back to Colorado for college, I will miss his sweet presence in the house. But I will miss so much more than that. I will miss the tender heart that recognizes the subtle, unspoken pain of the underdog and cheers for him. I will miss the strong arms that instinctively seem to know precisely when I could use a hug. I will miss the keen sense of humor that brings a smile to my lips and deep laughter from my belly. I will miss the thought provoking questions and thoughts about things I’d never considered. I will miss the warmth and personality that exudes from just his being in the room greeting strangers and friends alike with a wide, dimple-filled smile.
And now, already, I find myself writing with tears streaming down my face. It has been a wonderful summer in a new place with one of my most favorite people in the world. My mama heart has been full beyond measure.
And so, my son, my baby, my man-child, I send you back out into the world of Fort Collins, Colorado. To a campus that needs the love and smile of Jesus that you can so easily offer. Embrace them with the arms, whose sweet strength I have known. Love them with the heart that daily captures my own. Lead them with the thoughts and questions that grow them as they have grown me. Make their lives fuller with your warmth, your laughter, your smile in the same way you’ve enhanced mine. And introduce them to the Jesus who so longs to call them friends.
Go with my every blessing and prayer and change your little corner of the world. Don’t mind my tears. They are good tears. Tears that don’t want you to leave but that can’t imagine you not.
And I will be right here waiting for all the stories that will make up this next chapter of both of our lives….
Jana, my man-cub is still here, yet I echo what you articulated so well!!! When it comes time for him to move out or away, it will truly be bittersweet. My hubby is on the road a lot, so my son and I have had lots of time to nurture our relationship. I wouldn’t trade it for the world, yet it makes the parting the much more difficult, right?
Love you, girl. Exciting, too, about Janay moving to Cambodia – – -geez! One of my former high school small group girls spent 12 weeks in Thailand last summer, doing work similar to what your girl will be doing. It seemed to have changed her life significantly, providing opportunities to love and serve in ways not imaginable here.
Your mama heart must be bursting with joy and fear at the same time. He is in her, with her, and for her!
~K
Thank you, girl 🙂 My mama heart IS bursting – lots of joy mixed with a reasonable amount of tears. Amazingly, this normally anxiety-ridden heart is calm as I see Janay heading off to a foreign land, Brittany teaching a new classroom of fourth-graders, Blake heading back to a college campus and Abby in Denver discovering the new ministry opportunities God has for her. The calm makes little sense given the circumstances and my natural bent, which lets me know for sure that God is holding this heart of mine. Love you, girl. Enjoy your man-cub’s presence for as long as God allows. So, so sweet 🙂
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