“Ballistic vests are designed to prevent a bullet from penetrating through the vest and into the body. What you have to bear in mind is that the kinetic shock is only dispersed over a very small area right around the impact point. The heavier the bullet, the greater the impact trauma. Basically, it feels like someone is hitting you a good shot with a baseball bat.” (Quote of a police officer when asked what it feels like when you are shot wearing a bullet proof vest.)
I was watching a movie the other night where someone was shot while wearing a vest. His life was saved, but the impact still brought him to his knees in pain from the sheer force and speed of the bullet.
As my mind almost always does, it went to an analogy. Probably because of what God has been doing inside of me lately. Stirring things up. Tearing things out. Reworking my heart.
He’s brought to mind things from the past – heartache, pain, mistakes – that have impacted me, but have never fully been dealt with. They got stuck in the bullet proof vest that was surrounding my heart. No one knew I was wearing a vest. I don’t even think I knew. Because I felt the impact, had the wind knocked out of me, I wrongly assumed that the bullet HAD reached my heart.
But over the past few weeks I have sensed my vest being removed by Jesus Himself. The vest had protected me from being fatally wounded, but I left it on so long that I forgot to tend to the wound and damage that had been done even through the barrier. Jesus told me it was time to examine the point of impact. To let it bleed if it needed to and then to treat it accordingly. As His fingers pressed on my chest wounds, He asked gently, “Does this hurt?” Through tears I would answer, “Yes. Very much, actually.” “Then this is where we need to start,” He said simply. And so has begun our intimate sessions of therapy and healing. Of me trusting Him enough to leave my heart vulnerable to Him, vest-free, to do His transforming magic as the Great Physician.
As long as we live on this planet, we will be in battle. Things will come at us that will require us to protect ourselves. Jesus knew that. That’s why He gave us instructions on how to wear our spiritual armor. To keep our souls from fatal wounds. Our bullet proof vest. But we still feel the impact and pain of things done to us or things we have done to ourselves. These are wounds, too. Bruises and sores that will continue to ache and throb unless we let Jesus put His hands to the source of pain.
Do Your work, Jesus. My heart is in your very capable and gentle hands. Unvested in Your presence…
Ephesians 6:10-18 – Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.
Psalms 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.
Isaiah 41:10 fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Psalm 34:18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
“Your most profound and intimate experiences of worship will likely be in your darkest days – when your heart is broken, when you feel abandoned, when you’re out of options, when the pain is great – and you turn to God alone.” ~ Rick Warren
