Today marks the birthday of my oldest child…
Twenty-seven years ago my role changed from young wife to young mother. I only had a year to adjust to the first role before the second role began.
There is a growing up together that happens with your firstborn. A myriad of firsts for both of you. You are both learning the ins and outs of the mother/child relationship for the first time.
For nine months you share the home of one body. Two hearts beating separately and yet in sync with one blood supply. There is no preparation for the first time you feel the butterfly type flutter as your baby becomes big enough for you to feel its tiny movements. It’s the only time that you truly experience the rhythmic hiccups of another human being inside your own body. You eat right but gain weight. You rest but can’t sleep. You take care of yourself but end up with high blood pressure. Heartburn rages in your upper half, while hemorrhoids grace your lower half. All new experiences that had never been yours until this precious child became a part of you.
And after three quarters of a year of this intense bonding, the day comes for you to meet this little person whom you’ve been waiting for all your life. You endure labor together – on equal but opposite sides of your uterus. And after countless hours of you breathing for both of you, you push with everything in you to expel this miracle from your body. You have given her life, and now it’s her turn to breathe on her own…
Every first from that moment on is yours to share. First rollings over, first teeth. First steps and first words. This pattern continues throughout her life, each one giving each of you a sense of awe a little deeper than the one before.
And then it happens. This amazing child becomes an amazing adult. But unlike the other firsts you have shared with each other, this one is more slow and subtle. The conversations and thought processes begin to deepen and sweeten. Decisions become more thoughtful, motivations become more powerful. Her faith has become her own. The relationship shifts from mother and daughter to that of a rich adult friendship. There is not just profound love, but immense admiration and respect and an even better understanding of each other as women.
No matter the path that this adult child takes in life, it will be a first for you and for her. And once again, you will look in awe at this creature who began her life in you and has taken it to places and people you never even dreamed about. You wipe a tear and smile and say with everything in you….
Happy Birthday, Sissy! I love you more than you can imagine. I admire and respect you more than you will ever know. I am amazed by the beautiful woman you have become. Thank you for sharing all the firsts with me and for forgiving me in all the times when my first try was not good enough. Thank you for teaching me and learning with me. And thank you for paving the way for your sisters and brother to teach me even more in their own unique ways.
I love, love, love you and hope you have an incredibly special birthday 🙂 Wish I could be there… xoxoxo
Mom
