(This is VERY random – just free-floating emotions as we pack up to take Blake to Colorado State University. I hope to write more later when I’ve gathered my thoughts a little better and have more time to ponder at length. Please excuse the form, or lack thereof…just the immediate thoughts of an aching mama…)
Emotions held at bay.
The lump in my throat forced down by sheer will.
Bags packed, the car loaded.
Rooms already beginning to echo with sweet memories.
The laundry room sighs with the anticipation of lesser loads to wash.
The fridge dreading its new diet plan.
A certain Nissan will soon change its style of music.
The laughter at 17827 Coral Burst Street will be slightly more subtle.
A sister will cry.
A father will hug longer than usual.
One particular mother will feel her heart leave her body once again.
The Jarvis puzzle will seem to be missing a piece – incomplete.
And yet….
A campus awaits.
Lives soon to be touched and changed.
A young man enters the scenario.
Fear and excitement and possibility all over his face.
And this strange new place will become home.
Laundry will pile up.
A small refrigerator will be filled to capacity.
Messes will abound.
The volume in a dorm hall will explode.
What left this house, walks onto a campus.
Laughter.
Generosity.
Curiosity.
Character.
Integrity.
Humor.
Brilliance.
Great love.
Changing addresses to bless more than just the occupants of a home in Parker, Colorado.
A beautiful young man heads into his future to matchlessly change his world.
And a mother stands and watches from a distance.
Not sure if her heart is exploding with grief or pride.
Or maybe both…
And is left with a very damp, very wide smile on her face…
Jana – Your poem brought back memories when he said our good-byes to Lynne at Biola. We prayed with her, she got out of the van, and we watched her enter through the dorm door. Then Nama and I burst out into tears as we saw the last snip of the final string reminding us to know how to “let go” but pray like crazy. You expressed it so well. Thanks to God for you and Mark and the years of investing in Blake’s life. There will be more opportunities ahead as well.
We love you and Mark so much.
Nama and Papa
Thank you, Papa. It felt good as we walked away. He had found his friend, Chad, while we were there so when we left we didn’t feel like we were completely leaving him “alone”. God is good and has not moved an inch in His presence with Blake and in His working through His life. Even when we can’t be there, God’s hands are just as involved as ever before and prayerfully even more.
Jana, Jana, Jana~ you have put words to the emotions I felt when we sent our girl off just a couple weeks ago. While cheering her on at the gate in PDX, a lump welled up in my throat as I walked by her empty room only an hour later. It is a bittersweet time of letting go while cheering on. She belongs to Him and is on loan to me/us!
Absolutely, friend! That thought helps the perspective a bit doesn’t it? xoxo