I was reminded this week that sometimes what we experience defies words.

Think about it.  We groan when we don’t want to get up in the morning.  We “ohhhhhhhhhhh” when we stretch a good stretch after getting up. We “aaaaaaaahhhhh” when we enjoy the hot water of our morning shower.  We “grrrrrrrr” when we’re running late.  We whistle when we’re happy.  We sigh when we’re melancholy.  We grunt when we work out.  We “mmmmmmmmmmm” when we taste something delicious.  We “aaaaawwwwww” when we sympathize.  We “ewwwwwww!” when we are disgusted by something.  The list goes on and on. Some things escape our language.

But what about when our heart experiences things that we cannot verbalize?  When our pain is so great we can only scream.  When our grief is so heavy that all we can do is vomit tears. What then?  How do we communicate our deepest emotions to God if we can’t even define them because they seem that they are bigger than we are?

A few years ago when I was going through a really difficult time, I dubbed my closet “The Cussing Closet”.  It was my safe place to cry and scream and “make noise” when I had no words. There wasn’t much cussing going on, actually.  The pain was too great for even foul language. There were times when I would be flat on my face with my heart all over the floor in the form of tears. Lots of ugly sounds, but rarely any words.  Words just didn’t seem like enough to describe my anguish.

It was during that time that I truly began to understand this verse –

Romans 8:26 – In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 

When our hearts are so broken that they’re stuttering and our souls are so bruised that they become mute, the Holy Spirit steps in and takes over for us. He takes those wordless cries and groans with and for us. God joining with us in our pain.  He understands and feels it right along with us. He expresses what we cannot. And He sits with us and  holds us while we are in the “cussing closet” and begins the process of healing right then and there.

Psalm 56:8 – You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.