I am horrible at resting, at being still.  This bout with shingles is frustrating the crap out of me.  Half of my body feels fine and wants to do its normal thing.  The other half is easily fatigued and throbbing with pain.  The two sides fight for control and I end up exhausted.  It’s as if I have two “me’s” that are begging me to listen and follow their lead.

Yeah, another lesson from Jesus.  I’m experiencing a physical example of the spiritual reality that  Paul talks about in Romans chapter 7.  ” I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do….For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.  So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  For in my inner being I delight in God’s law;  but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God’s law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.”

Paul is talking about what all of us who love God experience.  Half of us wants to love Him with everything we are and please Him with everything that we say, think and do.  But the other half, the half that still lives and breathes in this broken world, wants to do its own thing.  We want what we want.  Ugly selfishness in what we say, think and do.  And so there is an ongoing battle waging inside us.  The very real wrestling match between “good and evil”.

But here’s the good news – the first verse in the next chapter, chapter 8 says, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death.  For what the law was powerless to do because it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh to be a sin offering.”  God was fully aware of our dilemma.  That’s why He sent Jesus to be the official who would declare that we (because of Him) are the winners in this battle.  We may carry a few bruises and lose a few rounds in the ring, but the ultimate victory is ours because we are on Jesus’ team.  He paid the ultimate price to win the ultimate fight against sin and death.

I have some ugly welts, a lot of itching, burning and deep pain.  But the enemy of shingles is not going to win.  My ‘better half” is going to ultimately be victorious.  I will be free to do what my good half wants desperately to do.  The battle will soon be over.  And my “bad half” will be won over so that my entire being will be working together.

The same is true in our hearts.  We will wrestle and struggle between right and wrong ’til we get to heaven.  But we are in the winner’s circle and one day we will know and revel in the thrill of utter victory over our inner “split personalities”.  Yay for one day!!!!

 Colossians 1:13-14 – For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves,  in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.