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Today is a day of reflection, deep satisfaction, thankfulness and just a tinge of sentimental ache…

Sometimes I am overwhelmed with gratitude for my children.  Not for the amazing things that they do.  Not for their abilities and accomplishments.  But for who they are.  Their hearts.  Their personalities.  Their characters.

I got to spend this past weekend with Brittany.  She started her first teaching job yesterday.  She loves working with kids and specifically kids who come from difficult situations.  Kids whom she can make a difference for just by loving them, by listening to them, by making them feel necessary in this world.  This is her passion.  And God has been so good to give her a job where she can do that fully.  And He with give her the strength she needs to give her entire wonderful heart to kids who so desperately need it.

Janay just got home from her second trip to Camobodia.  She went to work once again with trafficked women and children who have been held captive in the sex trade there.  She has always had a heart for those who don’t seem to have a voice or who are overlooked.  She has taken that passion to many countries and offered her heart and her help.  And now she is asking God how and where her compassionate heart can be best used.

I had a great talk with Abby yesterday about some of the girls in the youth group that she helps in.  She loves those girls so much and empathizes with their hearts so well.  She throws herself fully into all their crazy activities and listens with everything in her as they share their struggles and joys.  She longs to let these teenagers know that they are loved and not alone in their worlds. It will be so fun to see how God will use her vibrant heart in years to come.

Blake and I had a great trip together last weekend when we headed to Arizona.  He is truly a “family” guy.  He is fiercely devoted to each of us and is sensitive to our hearts (what happens when you have three sisters) and loves all family traditions.  He also helps with the church youth group and Abby has told me again and again that I should go and just watch him do his thing because he is so good with the kids.  He looks out for the “underdog” and the overlooked.  I wonder where God will choose to use his crazy, precious heart?

And then there’s Mitchell.  His birthday is this Friday.  He would be fifteen.  I often wonder what his heart would have been like.  Who he would have been.  And one day when I get to heaven, I will get to discover what his beautiful heart looks like and experience his sweet personality.  Until then, I will smile in anticipation….

I have been a mamma for 26 years.  And I will be for the rest of my life.  But the chapter is changing, my role is shifting.  I will be an empty nester at this time next year.  And so today as I reminisce and reflect, a tear marks my smiling face.  I am truly blessed.  I am so thankful for my kids.  My not perfect, but incredible kids with their incredible hearts and winning personalities, who are each going to change their worlds in their own special and unique ways.  And this planet will never be the same….

I love you guys so very much and could not be more proud of who each of you are and are becoming….thank you for letting me be your mama….with all my mama heart…..sniff…..

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xo, jana

 

 

 

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