I woke up this morning feeling discouraged. A lot going on in this mind with all kinds of irons in the fire. But alas, today, the spirit is willing but the body is weak. I am fighting some type of virus or something. Dizzy. Sore throat. Ugly cough. Absolutely no energy. Exhaustion. Not the best combination for your best writing or creating. But the perfect storm for discouragement and doubt – lots of ideas, much to do, but not a fraction of the energy needed to accomplish any of it.
Enter false guilt and self-doubt. Not a heck of a lot this girl can offer today. Former anticipation for all that lies ahead creatively seems to be swimming in a thick fog today. It’s clarity slightly dulled. And I’m fighting the tendency to wallow in the muck of discouragement.
I’m sure much of it is purely physical. I am tired to the bone. And as I’ve gotten older, it is so evident, the truth that body, mind and soul are so interconnected. They all play off of each other. When one is out of whack, the other components suffer.
And so I was very thankful for my quiet time today. It hit me right where I was at…
(From Jesus Calling) ” I love you regardless of how well you are performing. Sometimes you feel uneasy, wondering if you are doing enough to be worthy of My love. No matter how exemplary your behavior, the answer to that question will always be no. Your performance and My love are totally different issues…I love you with an everlasting Love that flows out from eternity without limits or conditions…Even your ability to assess how well you are doing on a a given day is flawed. Your limited human perspective and the conditions of your body, with its mercurial variations, distort your evaluations. Bring your performance anxieties to me, and receive in its place my UNFAILING LOVE.”
Incredibly glad that my worth in God’s eyes has nothing to do with what I have to offer on any given day. And whatever He allows and helps me to accomplish is sheer blessing. Anything that He stops me from doing or prevents me from finishing is His protection of me and of His ultimate plan. Either way, His unfailing, everlasting love is the source of His giving or His taking. And nothing that I do or don’t do will ever be strong enough or great enough to change that eternal love. And I choose to rest in that today with my nagging cough, scratchy throat and lack of energy…
Jeremiah 31:3 – “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.”
Psalm 31:16 – “Let your face shine on your servant; save me in your unfailing love.”
Psalm 107:8 – “…give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love…”
