I am terrible at poker. Not just because I am slightly confused by it, but also because I have a terrible poker face. My nonverbal is all over my face and shows what’s really going on inside my head and my heart. I can’t help it.
I screwed up today. And it’s only 11:00 a.m. Between my nonverbal and my verbal, regardless of my good intentions, I hurt someone. I hate that. I got in the shower and cried. I really thought I was doing the right thing, but it backfired. But the more that I looked at the situation, I realized that all of my “good intentions” were not completely good. There was some ugly selfishness going on in the middle of it that I didn’t want to see. Not blatant, but underlying. And though I tried to mask it with my behavior and my choice of words (which, obviously was not great), my nonverbal sent out a powerful message. Ugh. Ughly. And yes, I meant to spell it that way. That’s what it was and how it made me and the other person feel.
Really, really glad that Jesus has a way of turning our failures around when we realize what we’ve done and tell Him and the offended party that we’re sorry. I apologized wholeheartedly, but I didn’t feel any great relief in that apology. I hate, hate, hate that I hurt someone. But I will cling to the truth that I am forgiven by the one I wronged and by the One I wronged by wronging them.
I screwed up early in this day. But the good news is, I have the rest of the day to live out what I learned from my mistake and can carry that with me both today and in the future. I’m declaring a DO-OVER on this day…
1 John 1:8-9 – If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
