This is my smile that says, “It was a really, really good day….”
Today at coffee, a most amazing friend asked me about the book I am working on. I told her that at times I feel completely overwhelmed by the whole thing and feel so ill-equipped for such an endeavor. I shared with her that I don’t want to make it happen or manipulate the process in any way, but truly want to respond to what I sense God is asking me to write. Not more, not less. If that means nothing more than my blog, that is okay. But if He thinks the book is a good idea, He will have to guide me every step along the way. I just want to share the passion that consumes my heart, that we can all have and enjoy an intimate friendship with Jesus. That’s all I want to say, and anything that I can offer to help people in that journey is my greatest desire. (Note – in the middle of my excitement with this topic, my hands were flying around as I talked and I flung my entire latte across the floor…a reminder of my ineptness, one of the many reasons I don’t feel qualified to write a book :-))
What she said next brought me to tears. She said that she was raised in the church all her life but until she met me and began reading the blog, she didn’t know that such a relationship was even a possibility. Wow. That nearly took my breath away. That’s it. That is exactly why I write here each and every day. It’s why I write right through my self doubts and internal struggles. Through my mistakes and mishaps. Because it has nothing to do with me. It is just being an invisible voice for a message from One who pursues our hearts like no other.
Am I worthy of such a task? Absolutely not. Am I capable of something so daunting? Not in a million years. But I have experienced a love like no other in Jesus who gave His very life for me. And I cannot help but want to share such an amazing love.
Am I still overwhelmed by the thought of a book? I’m terrified. And somehow I think that’s a really good place for me to be. Because at that place I know how badly I need Him. At that place I know what He IS and what I am NOT. He is the reason that I speak or sing or write of His love. And what He chooses to do with any one of those things is entirely up to Him…
I received a blessing today on this article. We never know what the Lord will bring our way…just need to be available at the right moment.
We have a very “stickly” situation that has been ongoing here for several months, and I have been taken into the confidence of those in charge. There is no staff here on the weekends, against all orders, the breach of rules occurred suddenly. This was right in the middle of a meeting. I found myself stopping the intended action…..and then felt guilty, since I am only another resident.
Our chapel speaker today emphathized that we need to keep our convictions and not be afraid to use them. My friend and I felt that this was an affirmation that my involuntary action was not only correct but necessary. The Lord has given me great peace now but as always I need God’s Word to assure my heart that He is in control. Thank you Lord.
Tomorrow I will “confess” what I felt needed to be done and I know that it will meet with full approval. Sometimes, hard choices have to be made…
Keep writing, my lovely granddaughter.
Love you, Grandma
Oh, grandma, I love you so much and am so proud of you for standing up and saying what needed to be said. That’s the spunky in us, isn’t it??? 🙂 Hugs and kisses all over the place!