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“For You created my inmost being;

You knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.

When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

Your eyes saw my unformed body.

All the days ordained for me were written in your book

Before one of them came to be….” – Psalm 139:13-16

I have read these verses a million times.  Always in reference to my children, particularly Mitchell, and God’s handiwork in creating them and His knowledge of them and how many days they would grace this earth.  It has always been such a comfort to know of God’s intimate knowledge of them from before their conception.

But today as I stare at my 47th birthday (how the heck did that happen????) I read the verses from the perspective of God’s creation of ME.  I crawled up in His lap, let Him give me a birthday hug, and then read these verses from His word from this new vantage point.  And it actually brought me to tears.  He used His very own hands to create me, to form me, to “knit me together”.  The same hands that He still uses to shape me, to mold me, to change me.  Every detail was from Him.  Every quirky detail.  Even my left ear that sticks out a little 🙂  He made me and put me on this earth for a very specific reason for a very specific amount of time.  And even though I don’t know how many days that will be, I can live out the purpose of loving Him and loving others every single day of my life. And the people He has placed in my life….wow….I can’t even say how thankful I am!!!! And I will love them with all my heart for the rest of my days. So far, He has given me 47 years worth of those days. And if He chose for this to be the last one then I would join Him as one of the happiest girls leaving this earth, grateful for every experience, person and opportunity that He has given in those days.

Thanks to all of you who are helping me celebrate this day.  It has been overwhelming and I am way beyond thankful.  Thanks for making every ordained day such an honor and privilege and such a crazy, fun ride. You are His hug in my life every single day.  The heart that He created is full and overflowing.  And it loves Him and you with everything in it…..

( And speaking of age, my grandma just called to wish me a happy birthday.  She and her friend Dewitt just walked over a mile!  Not bad for 91 and 98!  Grandma, I’m over half your age now….hope I have as many amazing ordained days as you and use them as well as you do!  xoxoxo)

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I promise to send some encouragement your way, and a bit of hope for the soul...

xo, jana

 

 

 

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