Do you ever just have “one of those days”? That was yesterday for me. Not a horrible day. Not a day where everything went wrong. Just a day when nothing seemed to go quite right. I knew of several of my friends who were sick or hurting and I felt helpless to do anything. Even conversations were either interrupted or not possible, so I didn’t even feel like I could encourage them well. And so, frustrated and through tears, I prayed. It was all I could do. And maybe for that day, that was all that God was asking me to do. Maybe instead of me running in and trying to fix things, He was saying, “I’ve got this one. You just pray, recognize that I have this under control and then watch what I will do.” Ugh. Sitting still. Waiting. Letting go. One of THOSE days… Very humbling and pretty frustrating. A good and painful lesson in giving up control.
The older I get, the more I am able to recognize my strengths and my weaknesses. And sometimes they are one and the same. I live to help and encourage others, but when I am not able to, I feel worthless, useless. And I know that’s not from God. While God wants me to use my giftings, sometimes I think He allows it to be thwarted to remind me that He is the one providing the comfort, encouragement, help, not me. And maybe He wants me to allow Him to do the same for me in those times when I feel less effective. To let Him minister to my heart and build me up so that I am ready for the next chance to be there for someone. But I’ll be honest. I don’t like those times. It goes against my grain to just be. Which is, I’m sure, exactly God’s point.
So, no matter what today does or doesn’t bring in terms of ministry opportunities, my prayer will be the same –
“Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long.” Psalm 25:4-5
