She swung her basket of flower petals back and forth, back and forth. This was taking longer than she thought. Her mother gave her a warning look from the audience. She knew she was supposed to stand still and be quiet. They had practiced a hundred times. But at four and a half, it took everything in her to not toss the petals over her head and dance around under them as they fell.
She scratched at her neck. Her dress was itchy. Her tights were hot. Her shoes were pinching her toes. Her hair all pulled up and fancy, was giving her a headache. She had been excited when she was asked to be a part of the wedding. It made her feel beautiful and grown up and important and loved. But she didn’t know that it would take so long. The bridesmaid next to her put her hand on her shoulder, a reminder to behave.
The music was pretty. It made her heart happy. She began to sing along quietly. But apparently that was not allowed either, from the look on the groomsman’s face across from her, his finger to his lips. So she couldn’t move and she couldn’t make a sound. How much longer was this gonna take?
Her restless eyes landed on the candles. They were flickering beautifully. She was mesmerized and for a moment she forgot her surroundings. Hypnotized by the dancing flames, she was content to stand quietly. At least momentarily.
Lost in a stare, she suddenly felt something hit her face. She turned her head to see the ring bearer’s grin. He had thrown his gum at her! Her chubby cheeks became pink with anger. She stomped her foot and stuck out her tongue at him. She would have marched right over and punched him in the nose if the hand on her shoulder hadn’t squeezed so hard. Not fair! He was the one who started it and wasn’t even getting in trouble. Aaaaaaaugh!
She sighed loudly in frustration. Her mother shot her another look. Obviously, she was not a very good flower girl. She couldn’t seem to get anything right. Anything that she really wanted to do was frowned upon, not allowed. How much longer?
She turned to wipe her nose on the bridesmaid’s dress. Something cold and pointy stopped her. It was the stems of the flowers that the bridesmaid held. Lovely fragrant roses and lilies. Her attention was once again captured as she took in their smell and beauty. She stood on tiptoes to bury her nose in the bouquet. Unfortunately, the tickle of the petals caused her to sneeze – a loud, wet, messy sneeze. And not just one. This time the bride turned and shot her a look. In trouble once again.
Oh, but the bride! Every little girl’s dream. Glorious dress. Perfect hair and makeup. Princess for a day. She wanted to be a bride. To look into the groom’s eyes and be loved and held and protected forever. Today she was just a frustrated, tired little girl who was ready for this day to be over. She was too wiggly. Too noisy. Too messy. Too impulsive. Not tall enough to light candles. Not old enough to be a bridesmaid. Stuck in uncomfortable clothes in an uncomfortable situation. But one day. One day she would be the bride. She would walk down the aisle to her loving groom and stay in his arms for all eternity.
Someone coughed and startled her out of her daydream. She looked up just in time to see the bride and groom kiss. The best part. Everyone clapped and whistled as the ceremony ended. She followed the bride and groom down the aisle tossing her petals above her head and skipping in celebration. The ring bearer taunted and poked at her, but she didn’t care. She kicked off her too tight shoes and ran barefoot to the banquet reception. She had made it through the ceremony and now the real celebration could begin…
(This story is the allegory of my life. I feel like the little girl. Awkward and restless. Noisy and impulsive. Uncomfortable on this earth. Out of my element. Part of the goings on, but held back. Misunderstood. Feeling things so big in my heart that can’t fully be expressed. There are moments of distraction, like the candles and flowers, that make me forget that I long to be somewhere else, fully me, fully free. Fully in the arms of my Groom. My precious God who has the most amazing place reserved for me. Heaven. So, while I am here, I need to enjoy the wait, not wish it away. I will let the Groom romance me. And know that one day I will run down the aisle, barefoot, singing, dancing – done with the ceremony and ready for the celebration!)
