Fear sucks. Literally. It sucks the life out of us. It keeps us from trying new things. It keeps us in bad situations. It makes us do things we wouldn’t normally do. It paralyzes and torments and exhausts us.
And generally, it’s not fear of what we know WILL happen, but our fear of NOT knowing what COULD happen. Our minds make things up that are usually a lot worse or completely different from what actually happens.
I was reading about Peter in the bible. He walked with Jesus every day. He got to enjoy amazing one on one conversations with him. He saw the miracles. He shared the meals. He loved this Jesus. With all his heart. And you would think that that wouldn’t leave room for fear. You’d think…
The soldiers came into the garden where Jesus was with his friends. Peter was there and when he saw what was happening, he pulled out his sword and cut a guy’s ear off. Jesus was with him and he had the courage to defend his Lord, even though he went about it the wrong way. Fear was not a factor at that point. His love and devotion to Jesus was obvious.
But Jesus was immediately taken to be interrogated. Peter was left to wait outside in the cold with the police and servants. And those standing at the fire warming themselves around him began asking if he was with Jesus and if he was one of his followers. Some of these people had seen him in the garden and his display of commitment to Jesus. But he couldn’t see Jesus at this point and fear took over.What would they do to him if they knew he was Jesus’ friend? He denied the very one he had just defended. And he did it not once, but three times that night. The rooster crowed and Peter realized what he had just done. And “wept bitterly”.
Fear paralyzed Peter. It made him do something he would never have dreamed of doing. It kept him from doing what he wanted to do. And I’m thinking I’m pretty much like Peter. I have deep devotion and love for Jesus. I walk with him every day. I have great conversations with him. But I struggle with fear, too, sometimes. The fear of the unknown can keep me from moving foward. From taking a first step in a new direction. From thinking outside the box. From getting out of my comfort zone. From glorious opportunities that God has out there for me. Fear can keep me in the place of “but what ifs”. And it can keep me from that “abundant life” that Jesus always talked about. If I love Jesus like I say I do and if I know that He loves me so much more and truly recognize who he is, why does fear have any hold on me at all?
The good news is, Peter did not stay a slave to that fear. And God took this very real, very flawed, very afraid man and made him into a bold ambassador of the faith. A man who had denied him, became a man that proclaimed him and whose love for him has gone down in history. So I guess there is hope for us who share that same struggle…
